What is life without friends? Yes, it is dull and boring. Friends and their friendship enlivens life, and makes it pleasant. No wonder the wiseman of Proverbs says – “10 Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.” – Proverbs 27:10
Job also had friends. When calamity struck him, three of his friends consult among themselves to visit Job – “11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. 12 And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. 13 So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.” – Job 2:11-13
However, when we see what Job’s friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar actually speak to Job, we get to understand that, they did not know their friend; they did not understand Job, nor did they understand his relationship with God and the reason for his sufferings. Not a great picture of friendship.
Job’s friends believed that, Job was suffering because he had sinned against God – ’cause and effect’ logic. Eliphaz, who speaks first, sums up their conclusion – “7 Remember, I pray thee, who ever perished, being innocent? or where were the righteous cut off? 8 Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same.” – Job 4:7-8.
There will come times, when our friends, though with a perfectly good heart, can be far far away from the truth of our sufferings, and insensitive about the storms raging in our lives. Instead of bringing the much needed comfort, they may add to our woes and anguish.
The lessons for us – be prepared to fight our battles on our own; brace ourselves to face criticism from our own; and lastly – may we be sensitive and gentle with our friends who are going through pain and suffering. Let us get to know the facts, before we come to any conclusions. Even if our friend is at fault, let us be careful and wise, in how we approach it, and how we speak about it – “for there is a time and a purpose for everything under the sun” – Ecclesiastes 3:1. May we be the balm of healing through our friendship, and not be critical and judgemental.
"The book of Job demands that we see ourselves in the faces of Job’s friends. We too — presumably — know right from wrong, and have some sense of God’s ways. But we do not know all of God’s ways as they apply in all times and places...God’s ways are often a mystery beyond our understanding. Is it possible that we also are guilty of ignorant judgments against our friends and co-workers?"