FOUR LOVES AND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

Every human relationship is built on love. Without love, no human relationship can ever stand. Love is something, that can mean different things to different people. From, “I love my dog” to “I love myself” and everything in-between, is categorised as love, in the world. As a general observation, the love that the world talks about, and practices, is more on the lines of “I, Me and Myself” kind of love, than what the Bible speaks about.

The Bible speaks eloquently, about love, and human relationships. In fact, the idea of relationship is at the very heart of God, while creating human beings – Genesis 1:26-28; 2:7,15,18,20-25. God of the Bible, as we see in its pages, is the personification of love, and the very source of it.

The Greeks, seem to have grasped the essence of love, and human relationships, much more than anyone else. They categorised love into four different dimensions. These four kinds of love cover every aspect of every human relationship.  They are as follows…
1- STORGE: love of parents for children and the love between siblings.
2- PHILIA: love of friends and equals.
3- EROS: romantic, erotic and passionate love.
4- AGAPE: Unconditional and sacrificial love.

The Bible speaks comprehensively about the above four dimensions of love, seen in human relationships. One very interesting, and crucial aspect is that, all the above four kinds of love, converge only in one human relationship, that is a marriage between a man and a woman, otherwise they exist independent of each other. If any one of these four primary dimensions of love is lacking or missing in marriage, it will result in disturbances, disagreements, and divisions. This is certain and sure.

STORGE
– ‘9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another;” – Romans 12:9-10
– ” 18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:18-21

PHILIA
– “12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” – Colossians 3:12-15

EROS
– “3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

AGAPE
– “16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16
– “7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:7-11;

Dear brothers, sisters and friends, love is vital for the forming and thriving of any and every relationship. Let us seek the LORD earnestly, who is the very source of love in its purest form, to help us love others unconditionally, and be willing and quick to forgive the faults, and if need be, eager to sacrifice our interests, and our rights, to uphold the relationship. It is a tall order, and not easy, to say the least. However, it is worth every penny. Even so, the LORD help us.