SAFETY AND SECURITY

When someone is insecure deep within, everything is perceived by them, as a threat, and everyone becomes an enemy out to destroy them. When such a person holds power, then it becomes a volatile and dangerous combination, leading to, nothing but destruction, both of the self, and also of everything around them. This is the story of Saul, in a nutshell, who became a king, despite Saul being a strong and handsome man.
– “​1 There was a man of Benjamin whose name was Kish the son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Bechorath, the son of Aphiah, a Benjamite, a mighty man of power. 2 And he had a choice and handsome son whose name was Saul. There was not a more handsome person than he among the children of Israel. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people.” – 1 Samuel 9:1-2

Saul’s problems did not start with David killing Goliath, and people praising David. It began long before David. It is deep within who Saul actually is. Yes, David is more a catalyst, who brought the deep and unsettling insecurities of king Saul, out into the open. Many times our insecurities can be masqueraded as humility. This is deception, and contributes a lot in what an insecure person becomes – they think they are good and humble people. It feeds their insecurities and makes them insulated from seeing and evaluating themselves, honestly and with integrity.
– “21 And Saul answered and said, “Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? Why then do you speak like this to me?” – 1 Samuel 9:21
– “21 When he had caused the tribe of Benjamin to come near by their families, the family of Matri was chosen. And Saul the son of Kish was chosen. But when they sought him, he could not be found. 22 Therefore they inquired of the LORD further, “Has the man come here yet?” And the LORD answered, “There he is, hidden among the equipment.” 23 So they ran and brought him from there; and when he stood among the people, he was taller than any of the people from his shoulders upward. 24 And Samuel said to all the people, “Do you see him whom the LORD has chosen, that there is no one like him among all the people?” So all the people shouted and said, “Long live the king!” 25 Then Samuel explained to the people the behavior of royalty, and wrote it in a book and laid it up before the LORD. And Samuel sent all the people away, every man to his house.” – 1 Samuel 10:21-25

Who we are is revealed in how we think, speak and do things, and not necessarily because of what happens to us. Who we actually are, is seen in our response, to what happens to us. This is called the character of the person, be it an individual, family, organisation or a nation. When threats engulf us, the base inner human instincts for survival, kick in. Such forces that are deep inside us, reveals to us, and to the world, who we actually are – if we care to pay attention, and try to understand. This is seen in the life of Saul, in his initial days as the king of Israel, and the pattern repeats, all through his life – I Samuel 13:7-14.

David too had problems in his life. In fact David had more problems than  Saul. David was not even counted as someone worth to be presented before prophet Samuel, when he came to anoint the next king of Israel.
– “10 Thus Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel. And Samuel said to Jesse, “The LORD has not chosen these.” 11 And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all the young men here?” Then he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him. For we will not sit down till he comes here.” – 1 Samuel 16:10-11

David was on the run for good many years because of Saul threatening to kill him. David had no home, and no security. He was on the run. Running for his life, while king Saul, leaving all his royal responsibilities, driven by his insecurities, was chasing David in valleys, mountains and wilderness. Yet David never lost his confidence and courage.

David was threatened by his very own son Absalom. The threat to personal safety of David was so high that he had run with bare feet in the dead of the night. All this because Absalom wanted to become the king. Yet, David was steadfast and secure.

What David sang as a boy is what he sang all his life – the LORD is my Shepherd. Saul on the other hand was a deeply insecure person, with a vicious heart and mind, that went to any lengths to get what he wanted. Had it not been for God’s hand that saved David, Saul could have killed David without much effort.
– “8 Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 So Saul eyed David from that day forward. 10 And it happened on the next day that the distressing spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied inside the house. So David played music with his hand, as at other times; but there was a spear in Saul’s hand. 11 And Saul cast the spear, for he said, “I will pin David to the wall!” But David escaped his presence twice.” – 1 Samuel 18:8-11

When we reject God, and make ourselves as gods, and pursue our ambitions and desires, regardless of who we are becoming in the process, is a revelation of who we actually are, deep inside, much more than who we are becoming. The rest is all a facade and a pretention, to cover the raw ugliness, that adorns us. We see this very clearly in Saul’s approach towards David. Saul’s desire to kill David never ever left him. It is a reflection of what he is thinking deep within, despite his sweet words on the outside.

Such scenes are all too visible in the individuals, families, society and nations. The burning insecurities can make someone do anything, and yet they don’t see themselves as guilty of any crime, just as Saul did against David. Instead, they think and firmly believe that, the whole world has conspired against them, and are out to get them, and destroy them. So in order to defend themselves from these threats, they do whatever they think is necessary, which in simpler words, they become the evil themselves, just like how Saul had become, in pursuing David. We see this in what is playing out in the middle East.

Let us seek the LORD, to help us be, what He wants us to be. Let us be His children, despite all that happens in and around us. Let, living for our God, no matter the cost, and the sacrifices required, be the all-consuming desire, be the driving force, deep within our hearts. David’s approach towards his struggles and sufferings are a good model to follow. Even so the LORD help us.